They should invent a type of life where you don’t have to work to survive

My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks.
"It's free if you're gay," he's told.
"Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?"
"Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

"Doctor, give it to me straight"
"You sure, there's a fee"
"… Give it to me gay"

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

I have to reblog this every time because frankly this is absolutely genius prose

me: hey trying to watch "once upon a time" again might be fun. i remember the first season well enough so i can start on the second. might have to check the wiki for a detail or two.

the first wiki i pull up:

me: how the hell do you people do this